Self-Control

I would say, oddly enough, that there is comfort in knowing that self-control really is my biggest struggle.  I also think it has been the biggest catalyst for all of my major life problems, such as addiction and apprehension.  It is a notion that I have acknowledged.

Writing and crafting your own prayers and meditations is a healing activity that I would very highly recommend. I’ll be honest, I have been writing my own prayers since I got sober back in 2014. Many of the prayers that I’ve penned are still a part of my private meditation practice today.

I would like to share with you my prayer about self-control:

God, I need you
I need you completely
I beg you to show me
To conjure passionate thoughts
Only for you and your will

For I’ve become your physical will.

That rash mentality
Slammed me and dragged me
Through apprehension and addiction
Through bad and good! –
Through all and nothing;
And I became obsessed.

My most powerful strength-
The pursuit of desire
T-boned my saddest weakness
Of one-sided ambition
I finish lost, scared, in pieces.

Surprise me, Lord –
I welcome change.

AMEN.

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