One of the ego’s most powerful threats is that you’re going to have to leave people if you seriously follow the spiritual path. I hear this time and time again. It’s a favorite threat of the ego. Why do people believe it?
They believe it, for one thing, because they don’t like their relationship. They’re in something that they already want out of, but they’re afraid to leave because of social disapproval, financial concerns, worries about the impact on their children, and/or the overall fear of the unknown.
In another scenario, they believe it because the emotions and body sensations of fear make the threat feel, well, threatening. They believe it because someone told them that the spiritual path is a lonely one. At the end of the day, no one wants to be lonely.
They believe it because relationships–particularly committed partnerships–are now burdened with being everything to a person. This is opposed to other times in human history when a person would have had broader community support where a possible loss of one relationship would still mean a person had a dozen other people still supporting them. They believe lots of things. The threat of losing people is clearly very powerful.
The reality is dependent on the individual. Some people will leave you because you change. In other situations, relationships will greatly improve because you let go of more ego and can now embrace more of a person or people’s wonderful nature and accept more of their flaws.
Other relationships will stay the same. And you can never predict how a lot of this will go. Just remember: you are on a journey. Don’t be dissuaded by these threats of losing friends, lovers, romantic partners, husbands, wives, and others.
And keep inquiring within yourself to get to the root cause of the fear. Meditate if you have to. Write things down. This is an opportunity for self-discovery. It may be an awkward and painful process, but this is why we become spiritual in the first place. We seek wisdom from our existence, through all experiences, good and bad, no matter what.
That’s our takeaway.
Louis Grassi 